The Five Year Mark
by HaphazardPeach
Summary: i actually wrote this fic a while ago...over a year ago...but it's been on another site. now i moved it over here. It's a sequel to a fic on said other site, and a link to that fic is inside. it's five years after a fateful "booze cruise" and Ron and Herm
1. And it begins

The Five Year Mark: Chapter 1 – And It Begins This fic is the sequel to "Harry and Ron Are In The Hills" by Deidra Dragonheart. Before you read this, you kind of need to read that or else you'll be lost on some of the jokes in here. Also, before you try and find her on Fanfiction.net, she's not here. She's on FictionAlley. This is the link to her THAT FIRST!!!!! And now, on with MY fic... Summary: This story is the sequel to 'Harry and Ron are in The Hills'. it is five years after that fateful New Years 'Booze Cruise'. No slash, child humour may require a select mind. Basicly, if you have a mine anywhere near that of my interpretation of a Weasley, you will enjoy this fic. This is my first story, please be kind.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. All of the cannon characters belong to J.K. Rowling, but the others belong to me. Please ask if you want to use them for some reason. For the song 'Chapel of Love' I, the author of this fic, could not find who the orignal singer is. I take no credit for the song as it is not mine. The poem has who wrote it underneath it.  
  
A/N: This fic is dedicated to the wonderful and genious author of 'Harry and Ron are in The Hills', Deidra Dragonheart Without whom, this story would not be in being It is also dedicated to my friends: Kayla, Kaity, Kelly, Amanda, Becky, and Vanessa.  
  
The Five Year Mark: Chapter One My Princess ; My Wife  
  
For My Dear Wife,  
  
On This Usual Day;  
  
I Write You This Poem,  
  
In My Own Special Way I Wanted To Tell You,  
  
In Words Of My Own;  
  
You're The Most Precious Person,  
  
That I've Ever Known.  
  
You're The Prettiest Girl,  
  
Than Any I've Seen;  
  
Your Body Is Flawless,  
  
So Slender And Lean.  
  
Your Eyes Have That Sparkle,  
  
That I Can't Live Without;  
  
One Day Without Them,  
  
And I'd Die-There's No Doubt. And I Just Lose Control,  
  
When I Glance At Your Hair;  
  
Those Curls Are Just Stunning,  
  
So Perfect And Rare. You're The Most Caring Person,  
  
That I've Ever Met;  
  
There's No One Like You,  
  
And That-I Can Bet.  
  
What Attracts Me The Most,  
  
Is Your Sweet And Kind Touch;  
  
You're A Gift Sent From Heaven,  
  
And I Love You So Much.  
  
So Hold Me As Close,  
  
As You Possibly Can;  
  
'Cause Now And Forever,  
  
I Am Your Man.  
  
- Jason D. Megary - "Just one more push Mrs. Weasley, that's a good girl." Hermione was gasping for breath, she was in pain and just wanted it to stop. Beside her was her husband, trying not to show too much that his wife was beginning to cut off the blood circulation to his hand. They had gotten married two years after that fateful New Year's Cruise when they had declared that they would not and could not love anyone else. Their marriage had been going on smoothly and they were just going to have their first child. Hermione gave one final push and immediately her gasping was drowned out by a baby's first cry, just starting to use its lungs. "Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, its a boy." While the nurses took him off to clean him and wrap him in a soft blanket, Hermione got her first good look at the room she was in. She took in the white walls with the soft pattern of mixtures of flowers, the light pink curtains that hung on either side of the window, and the perfect view of the park that she had from that window. She noticed the pictures of fruit, and the ones of mothers and their children. She took in the surprising softness of the bedclothes and mattress and the fluffiness of the pillow she had finally gotten to lean back on for more then two seconds. She relaxed at the thought that she was no longer in severe pain, and laughed at the fact that her husband was slightly rubbing his right hand that she had finally let go of. As she closed her eyes and let out a sigh of content, she felt her husband stop massaging his hand and start to massage her aching shoulders. He always knew exactly how to comfort her while she had been pregnant. He rarely got upset with her and knew how to make everything all right when she just wanted to collapse and cry until there were no more tears left in the universe. A couple of times she had done just that, and because he understood that she just needed to let it all out and cry until she could cry no more, he was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and his shoulder fit perfectly around her face. He was understanding, generous, comforting, and an extremely good listener at all the right times and she couldn't ask for anything more. She supposed that all of his brothers and male relatives had given him advice about what to expect and what not to expect. That they had warned him what to say and what not to say, what he should do and what he should never do unless he wanted to be beheaded by a frying pan-to-the-head. That was one of the things that you could always count on the Weasleys for: good advice, with a hint of amusement and sarcasm. During her pregnancy she had often sought sanctuary in the Weasley women when her husband was working at his Quidditch Supply Shop. They were also very understanding, and even though a couple of them had never been pregnant, they all knew one of the perfect ways to cheer her up. Chocolate frozen custard from one of the local Muggle fast food chains always did the trick when her husband was not there to rock her into contentment. It was so thick and creamy, and perfect in every way. It soothed her from the inside out. She was almost certain that her new baby boy would be addicted to chocolate, she had eaten so much of it. As the nurse came back in, she held a soft bundle in her arms. Hermione realized that he would have little to no trouble fitting in at her husband's side of the family's parties. "I suppose he won't feel left out at your side's family gatherings then," Hermione commented aloud as her first newborn baby boy was placed in her arms after being wrapped in a blue blanket. "That place is completely over run with boys," she finished with a sigh. "Well, what can I say? Us Weasley men have strong genes in us, that we do. I'm just keeping up the tradition that the first five or so kids of the newest couple will be boys," replied Ron smiling down at his precious child. Although she was completely right that he wouldn't feel left out, there were still about three girls that always ran around giggling about cute boys and fixing their hair, while the about fifteen boys played and watched Quidditch in the makeshift pitch in the backyard. The boys were usually accompanied by the older Weasley men who were also playing and watching Quidditch in the back yard when their kids and nephews were taking a break to gain back some energy. "Yes, well, I really wanted a girl, but right now I'm just so glad that he's here and he's healthy that I really couldn't care less," she said, her gaze never lifting from her new beautiful baby boy. She only lifted her eyes when a sudden thought struck her. " What are we going to name him? Are we going to name him after one of our fathers, or give him a new name completely his own?" Ron thought for a moment and then said," How about Gabriel? I think I heard somewhere that it means 'one of the archangels' or something like that." "Hhmmm. Gabriel sounds perfect for him. Gabriel Plex Weasley." "Plex?" Ron cocked an eyebrow. "Yes. I know it's odd, but I figure that he should have something humourous with him at all times. Lord knows that we've gone through enough dreadful things in our lives. I want our some to always have something to cheer him up. Also, it's kind of a perplexity that we, of all people, ended up being parents, and he will make our lives more complex from now on. Besides, if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to tell anyone about it. Hogwarts only does first and last names on roll call, so what's the harm in giving him a silly middle name?" "Good point." She looked down again and smiled at the now sleeping baby in her arms. "Hello, Gabe. I'm your mommy. And see that man, over there, grinning like a mad man? He's your daddy." She looked back at Ron. "I can't wait for him to meet your family. With that red hair of his that I can see already starting to come through, and those cute little freckles on his adorable little nose, he'll fit right in." "That he will, my darling 'Mione," Ron said bending over and kissing the top of her head gently. "That he will. Now lay back and get some rest, I can only imagine how exhausted you must be." Hermione just nodded and handed their new baby boy to her husband. She promptly fell asleep as soon as her head hit the soft hospital pillow. The next day Hermione's small hospital room was almost full to bursting with people. Everyone from Ron's side of the family was crowded into one part of the room, while Hermione's parents were in a corner, carefully avoiding doing anything that might cause one of the Weasleys to get mad at them. They really were very nice, but they thought it best not to get on their bad side. Ron was sitting on the bed next to Hermione who was holding Gabe while they were answering any questions anyone had. Harry and Ginny, who had started seriously dating after the cruise, were standing hand-in-hand on one side of the bed looking down at Ginny's newest nephew. "You can tell he's a true Weasley already," noted Harry as he was looking over the new baby. "Yes, he already has the Weasley trademark: red hair and freckles," Ginny supported her boyfriend while smiling from ear-to-ear. If I didn't know better, Hermione thought to herself, I'd think that she and Harry were keeping something from us. "Looks wise, I'm just glad that he doesn't have my nose. Mine is barmy, Hermione's is much better," he said as he tapped his wife's nose playfully. Ron had gotten very good at complimenting his wife over the past nine months. "Can you imagine him with my nose?" Ron put in after taking a good, long look at his son. Harry, Ginny, and Hermione all chuckled at this. "I like your nose, but your right he would look a bit off with it. But, he does have your eyes with all of their liquid-like blueness," Hermione countered admiringly. "You both have good and not-so-good features to you," Harry commented. "Yes. Ron has great eyes but doesn't like his nose, while Hermione has a beautiful nose but thinks her eyes could have been better," Ginny diminished everyone's thoughts with one good and one not-so-good note on both parties. Fred, Angelina, George, and Katie walked up to the other side of the bed. Angelina and Katie immediately started hugging Hermione and cooing at the baby. Fred and George slapped Ron on the back and started kidding him about how he would now have a harder time getting pissed drunk without getting in trouble. Before they left Fred leaned down and said quietly in Ron's ear, "Don't let this baby ruin your sex life! Remember, there are still two of you!" With one final slap on the back and a sly wink he went off to rejoin his wife. Just then Molly hushed everyone in the room. "Everyone," the entire room went quiet and looked in the direction of the voice. "Everyone listen. Hermione, Ron, why don't you tell us a little something about the baby?" She got down off the chair she had been standing on as everyone in the room directed their attention to the proud new parents. Ron began to talk. "Well, er, um, as you all should know, when two people love each other very much," he was cut off by a swift elbow in the ribs from his wife. "Not that little something you moron, she meant his name and stuff like that." "I know what she meant. I just wanted to see what you would do if I actually said that." A voice from one of the kids in the room spoke up, "You didn't have to," said the voice. "We already knew that you had sex, and that he was a boy. Tell us his name, weight, height, time of birth, and all that other cute baby stuff." Everyone was turning and staring at Bill's eleven-year-old daughter, Camy. "Yeah," her twelve-year-old cousin, Charlie's son Michael, supported her. "Spare us the kinky details and get on with explaining information about the baby. Not where he was conceived, or how many tries it took, we just want his name and height and all that." Now everyone was staring at the two of them who had looks on their faces that said, "What? Everything we said was true!" "Well," Hermione started, "now that we have some guidelines to follow," all the adults in the room chuckled a bit at that, "his name is Gabriel Plex Weasley, he weighs eight pounds and three ounces, and is thirteen and one- half inches tall. He was born at nine forty-seven P.M. on January the twenty- fifth. Ron here gave his first name to him and it means 'one of the archangels.' I gave him his Middle name, for the sake that he now officially will always have something humourous about his life." "Also, as far as we can tell, he doesn't have the Weasley tradition of outspokenness or dirty mind yet. We'll have to fix that later." When Ron put in his little comment, everyone in the room chuckled, even the Grangers, who were starting to get into the swing of things when it came to the Weasley family. Fred and George, better known as Gred and Forge, were always the ones to make everyone in the room laugh. This time Fred came up with the question. "Where was he conceived?" he called out over the soft murmur of the small crowd in the room. The whole Weasley side turned to face the new parents to see how they would answer, considering that they had been told not to reveal that little bit of information. Ron leaned over and whispered in his wife's ear, "Let me get this one, I know how to get him right where my entire family will groan in disgust... I hope. At least, that's what I'm aiming for." At his wife's nod he straightened up and said, "You know the place very well. It was where you first found us five years ago," he stopped to create suspense-filled pause. Only Harry and Ginny had even the slightest idea of where he was talking about and everybody else urged him on with a, "Get on with it!" in unison. He looked at Fred and Angelina and upon seeing the confused looks on their faces he started to finish his sentence, "Oh come now. Surely you remember?" Harry and Ginny, who had just caught on as to where he was referring to, were trying and failing to stifle their sudden bout of giggles. The entire population of the room was now crowded around the small hospital bed in suspense as they waited for him to finish. Ron then recalled a family party last July when they had all gone to Fred and Angelina's house for the Muggle-American holiday of independence to swim, have a barbeque, and light some wheezes into the air. It was also when Hermione and Ron had announced that they were going to have a baby. "In fact, you have all been there. Not at the time, but a little after. It was on the West edge of Fred's pool, right by the main ladder." There was silence for a few moments as everyone recalled the party last July. Gradually the whole room groaned in disgust with their faces stuck on a grimace of disgusted clarity. For a few more moments everyone was silent until Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny couldn't take it anymore. They all burst out laughing and Ginny clung to Harry to help her stand as he clutched the bedside table for the same reason. Gradually the rest of the people caught on that that wasn't really where it happened and soon the laughter grew so loud that the nurses in control of that floor of the hospital thought that there was an ongoing party in one of the rooms but ignored it because there was virtually no one else on that floor. When the laughter subsided, all of the bloodline Weasleys' faces were a bright crimson from laughing so hard, but none so much as Ron, Ginny's out of laughter, and Fred's out of embarrassment and laughter. "I see your wife finally learned how to take a Weasley joke," commented George as he saw that Hermione was still smiling. "Yes, George. I have also learned how to tell you two apart, a skill most of the rest of the Weasleys don't even have," as everyone nodded and murmured in agreement. "In fact, if I recall correctly," it was Hermione's turn to pause and create suspense, "I seem to remember, when you were still in Hogwarts, your mum having to stitch your initials into your boxers in order to tell you two apart, and that you two would switch boxers in order to get her confused." At this the room went into another round of laughter. When that too had subsided Fred asked, "And just how do you know about that Young Lady?" "You seem to have temporally forgotten who I married three years ago," Hermione said patting Ron's shoulder while Ron smirked, "I can have him snoop anywhere I can't at The Burrow. That, and I bribed him into telling me something about every single one of his brothers encase I needed it for something." George, and Fred too, had both gone into a very unflattering shade of maroon as George said, "Oh. OK then. Carry on." Hermione was just a little surprised when Bill called out, "What did you bribe him with?" Ron laughed and put on a very convincing imitation of Percy as he said in a monotone and businesslike voice, "That information is classified until such time as the involved party sees fit to release it." Once again the room was consumed in a small bout of giggles as everyone old enough to be there recalled when Percy had said pretty much the same thing the summer before Ron, Hermione, and Harry's fourth year when he refused to tell his younger siblings that the Triwizard Tournament was going to happen at Hogwarts that year. Suddenly, Hermione felt something move in her arms. Gabe had awoken from his peaceful slumber during the previous round of laughter and was now staring innocently around at the large clump of fiery red hair and the smaller blots of brown, yellow, silver, and the one spot of blue that was on Bill's other son, sixteen-year-old Kenny's, head. He whimpered and Hermione hugged him close to her heart so the smooth, steady rhythm could soothe him. Ron noticed this and gently asked if he could hold him for a while as she had been holding him since she woke up. She nodded and handed Gabe over to him. He was still whimpering as she handed Gabe to him but immediately stopped as soon as he was completely in Ron's strong- but-gentle-when-he-wanted- them-to-be arms. The entire room had been watching as the baby was transferred from Hermione's arms to Ron's, and was amazed that he stopped whimpering as soon as he was in Ron's arms. "He really seem to be content in your arms there, Ron," Charlie called out through the stunned silence. They had all been expecting the baby to start to bawl any minute. "Yeah. He has barely made a sound all morning. That will come in handy when you're trying to sleep," Percy supported him as he remembered when his own son and daughter, Godric and Rowena, twins, had kept Penny and him up until four in the morning trying to get them to go back to sleep. During all this, Hermione had seen Ginny start to squirm in anticipation as if she was sitting on a huge secret but didn't want to tell anybody. She leaned over and quietly asked her, "Gin, is there something you want to tell us? You've been squirming all day and you look like you're keeping something from us." "Well, there is something. But if I tell you what it is first, will you tell me if you think that it will draw too much attention away from you and Ron?" "Of course, Ginny. What is it?" Ginny leaned in closer and told Hermione her news. When she finished, Hermione was nearly jumping in delight. "Really? Oh Ginny, that's wonderful! Of course you can announce it. If you want I can get the crowd's attention for you." Ginny nodded and whispered in Harry's ear as Hermione called out, "Everyone. Everyone! Ginny has something she wants to tell us." Everyone's eyes turned to face Ginny and Harry as Ginny continued to squirm in delight. "Well, as you all know, Harry and I have been dating for quite a while now." The crowd started to murmur excitedly. "Last night, right before we received word that Gabe had been born, Harry asked me to marry him and I accepted." There was a short span of stunned silence after she had finished telling her news until, once again, the room exploded. This time with cheers, yells, whoops, and applause from the more normal people, and a couple of catcalls from Gred and Forge. Over the applause Ron yelled, "And about bloody time too!" "Ron watch your language. Gabe's not even a day old and already you're influencing him to speak like you!" Hermione warned him while poking him in the side. "Well, if you're going to push books and studies on him, like I know you will try to, then I get to push language and Quidditch on him. It's only fair." He put on his puppy-dog pout. Hermione surrendered, "Oh fine." Gabe had awoken once again but fell back to sleep when Ron started to rub his tiny back with his thumb. "As I said before," Ron started to repeat when the applauding stopped. "It's about bloody time you two finally got married. So when's the date?" "Where are you two going for your honeymoon?" added Bill. "And, is mum going to explode with joy right next to you?" Charlie put in. Everyone turned to look at Mrs. Weasley for the second time today and she did indeed look like she was going to explode she was so swelled up with pride and joy for her youngest child and only daughter. Harry was like an adoptive son to her and now he was going to be her son-in-law in reality. While everyone ad been watching Mrs. Weasley, Fred and George had started a count down, "Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...(pause to respect the tradition of countdowns)...four...three...two...one...KABOOM!!" Ginny waited for her brothers to finish. "We don't know anything yet, we just found out last night. And mum better not explode or else she won't make it to the wedding," She replied to her older brothers' questions. Somewhere in the background music started to play softly. The supremely annoying choir once again appeared on a stage set off to the side that nobody had noticed until now. "Oh bloody Hell. Not them again!!" Ron groaned in disgust. "Ron, language," Hermione warned him again. "Ah, ah, ah, my darling 'Mione," Ron said with a wag of his finger. "We have a deal, remember? Books and studies for language and Quidditch." "Humph" Hermione pouted. I'm really not liking the way he can remember Quidditch stats and silly bets and deals better than my birthday and other things like that that are really important. Just like he can't remember to actually read Hogwarts: A History instead of just asking me something that is stated perfectly clear on page 73, chapter seven, but he can remember when Honeyduke's and Zonko's get in their new shipments. Actually, that is quite nice because then he can get me all the things I really like before everything gets all picked over. Oh! I just can't win with him! He's so damn cute! And when I try to win an argument, he puts on his cute little puppy dog pout and my knees go weak and all I can think to do is snog what's left of his brain out! Oh why did he have to be so damn sexy?!?! During their quiet argument the choir had started to sing... Because we're Going to the chapel And we're gonna get married Going to the chapel And we're gonna get married Gee I really love you And we're gonna get married Going to the chapel of love It looked like everything was going perfect for the Weasleys. Now they just had to survive all the family holidays and get-togethers to make it to the wedding. end of chapter one The tradition of countdowns, at least military countdowns, is that "five" isn't said cuz it sounds too much like "fire" A/N: Please review. I know that every author has asked you to review, but I want to know what you think of it. I beg of you, Review! Heh, that rhymed. -Cannonballboy 


	2. Behold the flaskback and a phone convers...

The Five-Year Mark: Chapter 2 – Behold the flashback and a phone conversation  
  
Disclaimer: The songs 'Things I'll Never Say' and 'Sk8er Boi' both belong to Avril Lavinge. I changed some words to make it fit better, and took out a verse.  
  
Recap: Ron and Hermione. Have just had their first son, Gabe. Harry and Ginny are going to get married sometime soon.  
  
A/N: Later on, when they're on the phone, all four of them are talking. So here is what it's going to look like when which person is talking.  
  
Hermione: Regular Ginny: Italic Harry: Bold Ron: Underlined  
  
Also, in this chapter, Ron has had a previous relationship with one Pansy Parkinson. Please, do not throw flaming trash at me; I was at a loss for female characters that are dumbass. That was the best my natural-blonde mind could think of.  
  
Enjoy  
The Five Year Mark:  
Chapter 2  
  
I'm feeling nervous Trying to be so perfect Cause I know you're worth it Know you're worth it, yeah  
  
If I could say what I want to say I'd say I want to blow you Away Be with you every night Am I squeezing you too tight?  
  
If I could say what I want to see I want to see you go down On one knee Marry me today  
  
Guess I'm wishing my life away With these things I'll never say  
  
-Avril Lavinge, Things I'll never Say.  
  
A few days after everyone had gathered in the hospital room, Hermione and Gabe were released from the hospital. The hospital staff said that Gabe was perfectly healthy, except that when they were reading his brain (A/N: this IS a wizarding hospital, you know), they found that his brain, young though it was, was mostly filled with provocative thoughts. When the staff told Ron and Hermione this, Ron didn't understand why they were worried about this.  
  
"What's your point?" Ron asked the nurse.  
  
"What he means is, all Weasley boys are like that," Hermione translated when she saw the nurse's confused face.  
  
"Oh, right, I remember now. Your brother's son was like this too. And the rest of your brothers, their sons, your father, his brothers, their sons," she trailed off as she was consumed in her thoughts.  
  
"Yep, that's us Weasley guys," Ron said as he took Gabe from the nurse, who was still trying to remember all of the Weasleys who were like that, and handed him to Hermione. "We'll just be going now." With that, they left the thought-consumed nurse and headed for the car.  
  
When the two had gotten married, Harry and Hermione switched flats. Hermione moved in with Ron, and Harry moved in with Ginny.  
  
"You know that as soon as I can, I'm going to get you a real house, right?" Ron asked as they pulled into their driveway.  
  
"Ron, you know that I don't mind. I think that this place holds lots of memories for us," she reassured him.  
  
They got out of the car and headed up to their flat, it had become much tidier after Hermione had moved in. Even though it had been three years since she had moved in, it still surprised Ron how different the flat was. It now had carpet that wasn't covered in stains of all sorts, and there were actual cushions on the sofa, not just folded up blankets. Also, the sofa was in one piece and the legs weren't broken and chewed on. The previous owners of the flat had had a dog, which Hermione had found out when she asked about a corner that smelled worse than the rest of the apartment.  
  
"It may smell a bit," Ron had explained, "but it was cheaper than a new one that didn't smell. You get used to it after a while. I had even forgotten that this corner was here."  
  
While Hermione was pregnant, they had turned Harry's old room into the nursery. This worked well because it was right across the hall from their room. They had redecorated Ron's room too. The solid shade of bright orange was keeping Hermione awake.  
  
She hadn't known that Ron had meant for the colors to keep her awake on purpose. Therefore, she would need to get rid of a lot of energy to be able to sleep. His plan worked, every night. As proof, all you had to do was walk across the hall. Ron, having grown up surrounded by the colors, could have fallen asleep whenever he wanted.  
  
He didn't want to.  
  
Ron might have changed, but his liking of the Chudley Cannons hadn't wavered one bit. So, instead of the whole room being orange, just his pillow and the lamp on his bedside table was and Hermione was able to sleep easier, much to Ron's disappointment.  
  
When Hermione returned from putting Gabe into his new room, she found Ron lost in thought sitting on their bed and she plopped down next to him.  
  
"Whatcha thinking?"  
  
"Not thinking exactly. More remembering."  
  
"Remembering what?"  
  
"Remembering when I proposed to you. And how I led up to it. I still surprise myself at how clever I was."  
  
"Yeah, I remember too. It was a good lead up. You surprised me too."  
  
"Its hard to believe that it was only a couple years ago."  
  
Flashback to five and a half years ago.  
  
Hermione is coming through the door as Harry is leaving. Ron is in the living room, in his boxers with his initials that Hermione likes so much.  
  
Ron Weasley sat on the couch in the living room at his flat, with his guitar in his lap. Hermione came up and sat down next to him. He put down his guitar as she wrapped his arm around her shoulders.  
  
"Whatcha doing?" she asked curiously.  
  
"Pretty much just fiddling with this song, some of the words will make better sense once I change them," he replied as he picked up his pencil. Such things as simple as a pencil still managed to amaze Ron. He twiddled it in his fingers. How many other things have Muggles come up with to get along without magic? Oh shit! I'm starting to think like Dad!  
  
"What song?"  
  
"A song I wrote to tell someone exactly why they look like a dumbass. Don't worry; it's not about you. It would work perfectly if you could sing it for me though."  
  
"Well, hand me the words and give me the music and I can probably get it."  
  
He handed her the piece of paper with the lyrics on it and struck up the main part of the song on his guitar.  
  
"It'll sound better with the rest of the band, right now all you have is a single guitar."  
  
The choir, who had been suspiciously absent up until now, sneaked onto a stage in the corner.  
  
"Bloody HELL!!!! Not them AGAIN!!!!"  
  
"Ron, calm down. You'll wake up your niece and nephews, if you keep shouting." Hermione had gotten good at cooling off Ron's temper. The best way to cool him down was to confuse him, which, truth be told, wasn't that hard to do.  
  
"But they're at The Burrow, in Ottery St. Catchpole." True to form, Ron was confused.  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Huh? But anyway, I don't like them," he jerked his thumb to the choir.  
  
"You may not like them, but they do prove a point when they're by themselves, and make us sound better as back up."  
  
"I guess you're right. You always are."  
  
"They don't really matter that much anyway. OK. I think I have it now. Start playing."  
  
He started the song and after a couple bars, she (and the oh-so-loved choir) came in.  
  
"He was a boy She was a girl Can I make it any more obvious?  
  
He was a punk She did ballet What more can I say?  
  
He wanted her She'd never tell That secretly She wanted him as well  
  
But all of her friends Stuck up their nose They had a problem With his raggy clothes  
  
He was a Gryffindor She said see ya later dork He wasn't good enough For her  
  
She had a pretty face But her head was up in space She needed to came back Down to earth  
  
Sorry girl But you missed out Well tough luck That boy's mine now  
  
We are more than Just good friends This is how The story ends  
  
To bad that couldn't see See the man that boy could be There is more than meets the eye I see the soul that is inside  
  
He's just a boy And I'm just a girl Can I make it anymore obvious?  
  
We are in love Haven't you heard? How we rock each other's world!!!  
  
I'm with the Gryffindor I said see ya later 'dor I'll be backstage After the show  
  
I'll be at a studio Singing the song we wrote About a girl We used to know  
  
I'm with the Gryffindor I said see ya later 'dor I'll be backstage After the show  
  
I'll be at a studio Singing the song we wrote About a girl We used to know"  
  
The choir disappeared in a puff of smoke as soon as the final note was over.  
  
"Oh, wow. That is a good song. But, you said that it was to show someone why they look like a dumbass. What person?" Hermione wanted to know.  
  
"You know her from Hogwarts, that's where I met her too. She wasn't in Gryffindor, obviously. She hung around with this one boy quite often."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Pansy Parkinson."  
  
Her jaw dropped and at the stunned look on her face, he continued on.  
  
"We dated once during the summer before seventh year. It was mostly an attempt on my part to gain my dad some respect in the Ministry, but she dumped me because I didn't have enough money, didn't have good enough clothes, and she didn't like how I looked in general. But now she has nothing on me. I own my own shop, have clothes that were never hand-me- downs, I've grown into myself, and my hair got a little darker. I did get even more freckles, but they aren't as bad as they used to be. And, I have you. Her, on the other hand, still dresses like a slut, still bleaches her hair to make it that bottle blonde that every other person has, still gets everything handed to her on a silver platter by her boy-of-the-week, and she's dating Malfoy. I mean, we all know that she'll try sleeping with anything with a dick at least once, but still."  
  
Hermione giggled a bit at that last comment, and nodded her head in agreement. It was all true. However, even though his clothes weren't hand- me-downs anymore, he could still use a bit of advice in the whole matching- things-are-good concept.  
  
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Hermione. You're the reason I get out of bed in the morning. Other than the fact that you wake me up when I break my alarm clock from hitting it too hard, I feel I have to get up and go make a better life for myself to prove to you that even I can get up if I have a good reason. You are that reason, Hermione. I love you, and all I want is for you to be happy."  
  
She sat there for a moment, just long enough to start Ron worrying. Then, she threw her arms around his neck and started sobbing on his shoulder. He had to admit, he was a bit worried and surprised when she did that, but he also had to admit that he didn't mind that much.  
  
"Oh, Ron! Out of all the years that we've known each other, I don't think that we've ever had exactly the same opinion on something that didn't involve Harry's well-being. I love you too, Ron. I love you with all of my heart. And all I want is your happiness as well."  
  
"Yeah. We bickered about everything there was to be bickered about and more."  
  
They just sat there like that for a while, with Hermione sobbing, and Ron trying to calm her, while also trying not to show exactly how relieved he was that he had finally said it.  
  
He had been working up the courage to tell her that he exactly how he felt about her since before the night of Fred and George's cruise. That had been last year. So much for Gryffindor Courage. He had told Harry how he felt about Hermione, but it wasn't good enough to satisfy him. He had to tell her.  
  
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his chest, only to be replaced by the warm weight that was Hermione. His Hermione. He liked this weight. It didn't hurt, like the kind that tells you that you know something and feel like you should tell someone; it was comfortable, like a little kitten curled up in your lap.  
  
The thought about the kitten got him thinking about their second year, with the Polyjuice Potion. And how she had gotten turned into a cat by mistake. He chuckled a bit, but not enough to disturb Hermione. Miss I-Have-To-Do- Everything-Absolutely-Perfect had gotten turned into a cat. He chuckled again. This time, she felt it.  
  
"What are you laughing about?"  
  
"Nothing. Just remembering some adventures we had at Hogwarts is all."  
  
"Oh," she returned her face into his chest once she had found a dry spot.  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
She looked up again.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Hermione, I know that this is all kind of sudden, but I can't live without you any longer. I know that we have only just recentlyconfessed our deep feelings, but, I feel I need to do this." He took a deep breath and continued. "Hermione," he shifted positions so he was kneeling on the floor in front of her. "Hermione, will you make me the happiest man that ever lived? Will you marry me? Please?"  
  
The tears that Hermione had just overcome welled up again. "Oh, Ron." She repeated her actions and threw her arms around his neck again. But this time, there was nothing behind him to catch him and they both got turned around and toppled backwards. They hit the floor, Ron on top of Hermione, completely tangled in each other's limbs.  
  
When she could breathe again, she gave her answer to Ron's question.  
  
"Yes, Ron. I will marry you."  
  
"Thank you 'Mione." He kissed her. "Thank you, so much."  
  
On that note, they started snogging. Only when came back from talking to Ginny did they pause to tell him the news. After he had congratulated them, and commented that it had only taken them about a decade to realize what they had, and another year to propose to each other, he went back out to tell Ginny, and to give them some time to themselves. They wasted no time in resuming their previous activity, and moving into Ron's bedroom at the end of the hall.  
  
End flashback  
  
"Those were some good times, and they aren't completely over," Hermione commented with a grin.  
  
"Are you thinking, what I think you're thinking?" Ron replied with a lift of an eyebrow.  
  
"Well, if you think that I think that you think that what I'm thinking and you're thinking are the same thinks, then I think we're thinking the same think.(1)" Hermione loved confusing Ron, and judging by his face, she had done just that.  
  
"Do you want a translation, Ron?"  
  
"Please."  
  
"Here's what I was thinking," she kissed him.  
  
"Hhmm, I was thinking that I was hungry. But I like your idea much better," he kissed her forehead.  
  
"Right now, I am so glad that Gabe sleeps almost as much as you did," Hermione said into Ron's shoulder.  
  
"How did you know how much I slept when I was a baby?"  
  
"I didn't know exactly until I talked to your mother, but I could have guessed by how often you wanted to sleep in while we were at Hogwarts."  
  
"Oh. Well, for right now, stop knowing so much. Or, in other words, shut up and kiss me. I heard it on a TV when you took me shopping in Muggle London."  
  
"You just told me to shut up and kiss you. How can I kiss you if you keep moving your mouth?"  
  
"You're the smart one. I would have thought that you would have remembered that mouths aren't the only places that can be kissed."  
  
"Oh, how stupid of me!" she sucked on his earlobe and whispered in his ear, "I guess I've been hanging around you too much."  
  
"Hey! I resent that!"  
  
"You're supposed to. Now, shut up and kiss me."  
  
He had gotten VERY good at following her directions, over the past couple of months that Hermione had been pregnant, and he followed them now.  
  
After a while, they stopped. Not because they wanted to, because they were still human and still needed oxygen.  
  
Neither of them was fully dressed anymore, but neither of them wanted to move to retrieve their discarded clothing articles. They had expelled a little too much energy.  
  
Hermione had pulled off Ron's clothes until he was clad in just his boxers.  
  
"Oh, you wore the ones with your initials in them." She pointed and smiled up at him.  
  
"I know you like them, and I figured that we would be down to our skivvies sometime today." He grinned. "Besides, if we both remained fully clothed for some reason, I could have always worn them tomorrow too." Hermione scrunched up her nose. "Ron, you know I don't like it when I have to see your boxers two or more days in a row. If you wear them more than once a wash load, they get boring. If they get boring, then I have no desire to see them. If I have no desire to see them, then we don't get where we are now," Hermione said in her old matter-of-fact tone.  
  
"You mean that if you had never had a desire to see me in my boxers, we wouldn't be married with a kid and lying on the bed teasing each other?" he asked with a grin.  
  
"We would probably still tease each other. But the rest.........probably not."  
  
"Well, then, I guess we'd better not ever change."  
  
They kissed again. But this time, Hermione pulled back.  
  
"Wassamatter?"  
  
"We can come back to this later," she said as she started to pull her clothes back on. "Right now, put your clothes back on and go get Gabe, we're going to go over to see Harry and Ginny. We'll see if we can help with any of their wedding plans, since they helped with ours. And don't even think of planning everything in bright orange, like you wanted to for our wedding."  
  
"Yes, Mother."  
  
"Do you really want to get on my nerves again? Remember what your punishment was last time you did that?"  
  
Ron's face went from sarcastic to panicked and he let out a little squeak.  
  
"Eep. OK. I'll be good, I promise."  
  
"Good. Now, put your pants back on. I'm going to go call them, make sure that its okay for us to come over."  
  
"Yeah, make sure that we're not going to interrupt anything," he said and dodged the pillow she threw at him and walked across the hall, laughing, to Gabe's room.  
  
"Shut up, you."  
  
"Who? Me?"  
  
"No, not you Ginny, I was talking to Ron."  
  
"Oh, OK."  
  
"Do you think it will be all right if Ron and I came over? I was thinking that we could pay you back for helping with our wedding."  
  
"Sure. And thanks for calling first. Stop that, Harry."  
  
"Hello, Hermione."  
  
"Hi, Harry. I hope that you listen to your fiancée better than Ron did."  
  
"Hey! Don't listen to her, Harry! She's trying to pull you over to their side!! Run, Harry! Run!"  
  
"What makes you think that I'm not already on their side? You should know by now that Ginny can really pack a punch, hard. And Hermione, only if I feel like it."  
  
"Harry, don't make me use this." Ron and Hermione couldn't see this, but Ginny was wagging her fist at Harry.  
  
"What have we gotten ourselves into, Ron?"  
  
"I don't know, Harry. I don't know. But at least you have it easy with Mum. She always favors you and Hermione. If you're her own kid, you actually get punished. I don't know how many times me and my brothers, except Percy, had to de-gnome the garden. Even Ginny gets it easy because she's the baby and the only girl. I feel so cheated."  
  
"Well, Ron, if you feel that bad, just wait a couple hours, then we'll be back here, and I'll make you feel all better."  
  
"Guys, no PDA's please."  
  
"Sorry. We'll be good. At least until we get back here."  
  
"Thank you. You guys can come over whenever."  
  
"OK. We'll be over in a few minutes."  
  
"Yeah. And be sure to put your clothes back on before we get over there."  
  
"Ron!" (Harry and Ginny said that at the same time)  
  
"Ron!"  
  
(Ron laughed.)  
  
"You guys are too easy."  
  
(Ron hangs up)  
  
"I can't figure out what's gotten into him. He's had his mind set on 'kinky' all day."  
  
"When has he ever NOT had his mind set on 'kinky'?"  
  
"Yeah. He has been like that as long as I can remember. The rest of my brothers too. Well, except Percy."  
  
"Why is it that you guys always say 'all of my brothers, except Percy'? Didn't he ever do anything?"  
  
"Percy spent a lot of time following Mum and Dad around. I don't think he knows what its like to be disciplined. He was always the one doing the disciplining. When Mum and Dad would go somewhere, even though Bill and Charlie were there, they would leave Percy in charge. It was a bit strange actually."  
  
"Sounds like it. Well, we'll be over there soon. See you."  
  
"Bye."  
  
"Later."  
  
End conversation  
  
"Come on, Ron. Lets go."  
  
"OK, I'm coming." end of Chapter Two  
  
Yay! Ok, now that you've read it, REVIEW!! (1)I said that to my 7th grade Language Arts teacher, and I had to repeat it twice before she jsut gave up. ok. last chapter i tried to put in a link to Deidra's page, but it didn't work. i'll give you directions here, and then you can go there and that should clear up a few inside jokes that are in here.

1. go to Fictionalley.org   
  
2. go into Riddikulus (pic of a blonde-haired boy in black holding a yellow book that says 'Rriddikulus' on it.   
  
3. in the box on the far left side, at the top, there is a link that says "complete list of all fics on riddikulus (listing author and title)" click on it.   
  
4. find "Deidra Dragonheart" in the left-hand column and click on her name   
  
5. click on "Harry and Ron Are in the Hills" there.

that's the fic before this one.

Oh, and, for those of you who don't know, provocative is a long word for sexy, or kinky. If you didn't understand parts of it, you can e-mail me at:  
  
Tootiedur (at sign[shift key and 2]) aol.com  
  
In the subject bar, put:  
  
The Five Year Mark, Ch 2 questions.  
  
And remember: All people are entitled to be stupid. I abuse the privilege.  
  
I'm off like a naked man in the snow,  
  
-Cannonballboy


	3. The wedding, snogs galore, and multitude...

**The Five Year Mark: Chapter 3 – The wedding, snogs galore, and multitudes of songs.**

Hey, y'all! I'm, back again. Yes, I know that these first three chapters were all put up on the same day, but I say "Feh, I'll do whatever the hell I want." Anyways, here's chapter 3:  
  
One mile to every inch of  
  
Your skin like porcelain  
  
One pair of candy lips and  
  
Your bubblegum tongue  
  
'Cause if you want love  
  
We'll make it  
  
Swimming a deep sea  
  
Of blankets  
  
Take all your big plans  
  
And break 'em  
  
This is bound to be a while  
  
-Your Body Is a Wonderland- John Mayer  
  
All of the plans have been made, all of the invitations have been sent, and Mrs. Weasley has cried herself almost into dehydration. Again. The day had finally come when Harry and Ginny would come together as one, and begin their new life together.  
  
Ginny would be wearing a dress that was cut and charmed so it would fit only her and those that she wanted to wear it. It was sleeveless and decorated with these little sparkly things that Hermione said Muggles call sequins. Ginny thought they were pretty and therefore insisted that she have some on her dress.  
  
Harry would be wearing a black suit with a bright orange bow tie. No one really felt that this belonged, but it was the only way he could get Ron to stop bugging him about it. And besides, the groom is supposed to stand out from the rest of the males.  
  
It was to be a small wedding, seeing as Ginny only had her family, and Harry really didn't have too many friends that weren't already related to Ginny and what little family he had wasn't really family, and weren't invited anyway. All of the Weasleys, except for Ron and Hermione, would be sitting on Ginny's side, and anyone else they could think of would be sitting on Harry's side. Ron and Hermione were going to be the Best-man and Maid of Honour.  
  
"Oh! My darling little baby girl is all grown up!"  
  
Mrs. Weasley had been crying since she had gotten in the car to go to the wedding and hadn't stopped except to tell Fred and George, who were the ushers, to fix their ties, which they had put on backwards, on purpose of course.  
  
When they had gotten to the church, Ginny had pulled the twins aside.  
  
"I don't want you two pulling any pranks today. This really means a lot to me and you know Mum will have your heads if you mess it up. Now I want you to go and disable anything you have set up to explode or anything. Go get rid of all your pranks. Now."  
  
"OK, Gin, but let me just say one thing: You're acting more and more like Mum everyday."  
  
The twins returned in a few minutes with their arms loaded down with whoopee cushions, screaming hymnbooks, and their other pranks that they managed to sneak past their mother.  
  
"Good. Now, come with me and you're going to sit in every one of the seats, and kneel on everything yourselves to make sure."  
  
They grumbled and followed. When they returned for the second time, they had three more whoopee cushions and some explode-on-contact rice.  
  
As Hermione watched the guests file in, she checked them off of the list she was holding. There were all of the Weasleys and their children, Hagrid and Olympie, their son, Oliver and Cho, Dean and Lavender, their daughter, Seamus and Parvati, who were expecting, Neville and Hannah, their twin girls, Remus, some other friends who they had gone to school with, and Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall.  
  
Professor Dumbledore had also brought along Fawkes and another phoenix, a female, named Firebell. Hermione noticed that Firebell look quite a bit larger than she had the last time she had seen her, but knew that it was just because of Fawkes. Naughty bird, thought Hermione, I never would have thought Fawkes would meet another phoenix who made him that happy. But then again, who am I to talk? Hermione looked quickly over to the sofa that Ron was leaning over(making faces at Gabe) and took a quick glance at Gabe, but soon resumed checking the list.  
  
She had to remind Sirius and his wife Julia not to go in, as they would be filling in the position where Harry's parents would have been. Sirius' name had been cleared a few years ago, after Volemort had been defeated, and he had met Julia at Pettigrew's hearing, she was the Auror who had caught Peter and therefore was very high on everyone's list of people to respect.  
  
When it was time for the ceremony to start, they locked all of the ways into the church. The reporters had been trying to get in all day for a story, and only when Bill, complete with fang earring, spiked bracelet, dragonhide vest, torn-at-the-knee jeans, and dragonhide combat boots, acted as a security guard did they stop trying to push their way in. Bill would change into his suit right before the ceremony started.  
  
Thankfully, just about everyone had made the twins go through the seats before the guests had arrived, and everyone followed the directions given by Hermione to make the twins test their seat before they sat themselves. Fawkes and Firebell perched up at the front by the podiums, so everyone could see them clearly. When the Ginny was just about to walk down the aisle, the lights dimmed. The phoenixes at the front were the main source of light, but their light was strong enough to reach all the way to the back where Ginny was standing, and it filled the rest of the room with a pale-gold glow all throughout the rest of the ceremony.  
  
The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch, and everyone made it out of the church without having a single prank pulled. Fred and George looked as if they were about to explode. They needed a certain amount of chaos everyday in order for them to stay...er...sane (A/N: as sane as they ever are, that is). However, Angelina and Katie were doing their best to keep their husbands' chaos level normal, and by the looks in the twins' eyes and on their faces, they were doing a fine job.  
  
At the reception, Mrs Weasley had everyone check their food before they started eating. Everyone had done their best to keep the twins out of the kitchen, but no guaranties could be made. There were only two canary creams found, but throughout the night, three canaries that weren't there to start with showed up.  
  
After everyone had eaten, the dancing started. You can just imagine how excited Fred, Angelina, George, and Katie were to have the chance to show off their haven't-changed-one-bit-since-they-were-sixteen-years-old dance moves. Everyone made a mental note to stay outside of a five foot radius from them at all times while on the dance floor.  
  
As the DJ (who just happened to be Sirius, with an mischievous-looking grin on his face) had gotten the attention of the crowd, Harry and Ginny moved onto the dance floor and Sirius started the song. It was an odd song; it never seemed to finish one complete song before it started another.  
  
I wake up in the morning,  
  
Put on my face  
  
Doesn't really matter  
  
How I feel inside  
  
This life is like a game sometimes  
  
And then you came around me  
  
The walls just disappeared  
  
Nothing to surround me  
  
Keep me from my fears  
  
I'm unprotected  
  
See how I've opened up  
  
You've made me trust  
  
I've never felt like this before  
  
I'm naked around you  
  
Does it show?  
  
You see right through me  
  
And I can't hide  
  
I'm naked around you  
  
And it feels so right  
  
I'm trying to remember  
  
Why I was afraid  
  
To be myself and let the  
  
Covers fall away  
  
Hot in.....  
  
So hot in here...  
  
So hot in.....  
  
Oh (Quiet background voice)  
  
Wan' a 'lil bit of uh, uh,  
  
and a lil bit of uh, uh.  
  
(Wan' a lil bit of uh, uh  
  
just a lil bit of uh, uh.  
  
Wan' a lil bit of uh, uh  
  
just a lil bit of uh, uh.)  
  
(Uh) I was like,  
  
good gracious ass is bodacious  
  
Oh, flirtatious,  
  
tryin' to show patience  
  
I'm waitin' for the right time  
  
to shoot my steez (you know)  
  
Waitin' for the right time to flash them keys  
  
Then um I'm leavin',  
  
please believin' (oh)  
  
Me and the rest of my heathens  
  
Check it, got it locked  
  
at the top of the four seasons  
  
Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin'  
  
No deceivin', nothin' up my sleeve and,  
  
no teasin'  
  
I need you to get up, up on the dance floor  
  
Give that man what he askin' for (oh)  
  
Cuz I feel like bustin' loose  
  
and I feel like touchin' you (uh, uh)  
  
And can't nobody stop the juice  
  
so baby tell me what's the use  
  
I say  
  
I think I love you baby...  
  
I think I love you too...  
  
I'm here to save you girl,  
  
Come be in Shady's world,  
  
I wanna grow together,  
  
Let's let our love unfurl.  
  
You know you want me baby,  
  
You know I want you too,  
  
They call me Superman,  
  
I'm here to rescue you,  
  
I wanna save you girl,  
  
Come be in Shady's world...  
  
You don't know how you met me  
  
You don't know why,  
  
You can't turn around  
  
and say good-bye  
  
All you know  
  
Is when I'm with you I make you free  
  
And swim through your veins  
  
like a fish in the sea  
  
I'm singing  
  
Follow me, and  
  
Everything is alright  
  
I'll be the one  
  
To tuck you in at night  
  
And if you  
  
Want to leave I can guarantee  
  
You won't find nobody  
  
Else like me  
  
Baby you're all that I want  
  
When you're lyin' here in my arms  
  
I'm findin' it hard to believe  
  
We're in heaven  
  
And lovin' is all that I need  
  
And I found it there in your heart  
  
It isn't too hard to see  
  
We're in heaven  
  
With that, the medley ended and Gin and Harry pulled apart. Fred and George had made their way up to the DJ's booth and had just convinced Sirius to let them have the mic and the stereo.  
  
"Hullo all," George said. "Just on the off-chance that some of you might not know who we are, we're Gin's older twin brothers, and the greatest pranksters since the famous Marauders, if we do say so ourselves," They beamed at Sirius and Remus, the only remaining Marauders.  
  
"Pretty much, we're only up on this stage thingy right now for two reasons," Fred put in.  
  
"Yes. Reason One: To provide you, the guests, with funny, entertaining, and foul music," George started.  
  
"And Reason Two: To embarrass the living Hell out of our baby sister, Virginia. Better known as Ginny,"  
  
"Gin,"  
  
"Squirt, "  
  
"Monster, "  
  
"And I believe every once-in-a-while Harry calls her 'Rapid-Fire.'"  
  
The crowd laughed as Harry and Ginny's cheeks turned a bright crimson.  
  
"I'm betting that you all have figured out our add-on reason for being up here. To embarrass the Hell out of Harry too."  
  
"Also known as Midget, "  
  
"Four-eyes, "  
  
"Mop-head,"  
  
"The-Boy-Who-Lived-But-You-Better-Not-Call-Him-That-If-You-Fancy-Keeping- Your-Face-The-Way-It-Is,"  
  
"And there is a rumour floating around the Burrow that Gin also calls him 'Stallion.'"  
  
Again, the crowd laughed as Gin and Harry shrunk down in their chairs, which only made the people laugh harder.  
  
"But seriously folks, wait. Fred, what's the meaning of 'serious' again?"  
  
"Why, I don't know, George. Why don't you ask old Perce in the far corner there?" Fred countered pointing.  
  
George stepped a little to the left of the mic and shouted across the hall.  
  
"Percy!! What's the meaning of 'serious'?"  
  
"Why don't you look it up?!" Percy yelled back.  
  
"I'm too lazy. Just tell me!!"  
  
"It's the opposite of you and Fred! Non-Joking, Un-humorous, Studious!!" Everyone could tell that Percy was getting annoyed.  
  
"Oh, Okay. Thanks Perce!"  
  
Fred stepped up to the microphone from where he was standing while George interrogated Percy.  
  
"Never mind whatever it was we were going to say before," there was an annoyed grumble from the back of the room. "Lets just get to some music. Everyone get out on the floor and we'll put on a song."  
  
As they all followed directions, even Percy (who ended up being dragged there by his wife, Penelope), the twins sifted through the stacks of music trying to find the song they wanted. When they found it, they had identical twin grins slapped across their faces. They got Fawkes to press the 'Play' button on their signal and went to stand in the middle of the floor. Everyone heard the music, but few could recognize it. Only the ones associated with Muggles in some way (I.E. Muggle born, Muggle job, Muggles- for-a-job, etc.) knew what it was and were trying unsuccessfully to hide their grins. When the twins started dancing the assigned moves to the song, Oliver leaned over to a red-faced-from-trying-not-to-laugh Harry and asked him.  
  
"Harry, what is this song? You should know, it's your wedding."  
  
"I know what song it is. I didn't think they would actually play it though."  
  
"What is it?" Oliver was getting impatient.  
  
"Well, in the Muggle-world, they call this song," He snickered a little. "They, the Muggles, call this song..." suspense, "' The Chicken Dance'." With that he couldn't hold it anymore and burst out laughing.  
  
If you had been one of the ones actually watching the twins, you would have seen them, and Angelina and Katie, smacking their hands open and closed like chicken's beaks, flapping their arms like ducks trying to fly, shaking their tuxedo and dress-clad bottoms, and clapping while singing. It was an odd song. Most everyone there was thinking that it was the oddest song they had ever heard. Over and over they kept singing:  
  
"I don't wanna be a chicken,  
  
I don't wanna be a duck,  
  
So I shake my butt.  
  
Da na na na."  
  
As the twins made an attempt to get Percy to dance, Harry and Ginny walked arm-in-arm over to where Ron and Herm, who was holding Gabe, were talking to Charlie and his wife, Clarise.  
  
Clarise was a pretty woman, not exactly beautiful, but pretty all the same. She had light brown-gold hair pulled back into a French braid, clear blue eyes that tended to change colours in different light, and smooth, clear, soft skin that was tanned from working in Romania, where she worked at the same dragon camp as Charlie. That was how they had met. But what most people didn't know was that Clarise had a little secret talent that only she, Charlie, Michael, and her family knew about.  
  
"Hi guys, whatcha doing?" Ginny asked when they reached the two couples.  
  
"Just making fun of your brothers, Gin," Hermione replied jerking her thumb toward the dance floor.  
  
Ginny thought she saw Clarise's eyes glow a soft pink of happiness, like the colour she always saw on Valentine's Day cards, when she locked eyes with her, but it was gone so soon the reckoned that she had just imagined it.  
  
No one in the little group had seen Fred and George sneak up behind Clarise.  
  
As the twins appeared behind her, Hermione thought she saw Clarise's eyes flash from clear blue to a fiery red and back, but she wasn't sure. She directed her attention back to the twins, who were still coming up slowly behind Clarise.  
  
"Hello, Clarise," the twins said at the same time in a deep, airy, mysterious voice as they threw a burlap sack over her head and jumped around her. Clarise ripped off the sack and looked positively livid. Then, Clarise started to shake. Charlie sighed.  
  
"Here we go again."  
  
Almost at once, Clarise's festive, short, blue dress became long, black and flowy. Her skin became almost deathly pale and her wavy, shoulder-length hair became long, jet-black and straight. Her eyes glowed red just before Charlie muttered, "I'd run, boys."  
  
In place of the usual happy and smiling Clarise stood a tall, pale, Gothic- looking woman in a dress that covered almost all of her skin. On the area surrounding her neck and chest (A/N: not breasts, chest. As in, above her breasts but below her neck, you sick-minded teenage boys. Not that I can talk, really...), there was this thin, fishnet material, making her skin a greyish colour, starting at a ripped neckline and extending to the end of the palm of her hand. Various chains appeared around her neck, and chain bracelettes encircled her wrists. Her nails lengthened and pointed a bit, slightly resembling claws.  
  
The music cut off and everyone had turned to see what the commotion was. When they spotted Charlie's wife towering over the Weasley twins, they all stared transfixed at the uncommon image.  
  
Clarise turned on her heel and glared at the twins. For the first time since Fred, George, and Ron had been caught flying the car to pick up Harry from the muggles before their fourth year, the twins cowered under the glare of a female. Clarise's voice had dropped about an octave and a half.  
  
"Answer me something, boys. Do you have any children?"  
  
"Expecting," Fred answered.  
  
"No, not yet," was George's answer.  
  
"Well, if you fancy ever having kids, or having any more, you better not ever pull a prank on me again. I am known throughout my family and my job for sticking to my promises. And let me tell you, if you ever prank me again, I will make sure that you are never able to produce offspring ever again." She clenched and unclenched her hands menacingly. A few of her knuckles cracked.  
  
As everyone saw them nod fanatically at her warning, the crowd applauded enthusiastically. Clarise changed back into her regular self and turned back to Herm, Ron, Ginny, and Harry, all of whom were staring like teenage boys at a woman in a nude magazine.  
  
"What are you all staring at? Oh, right, my little 'issue.' Well, now you all know, I'm a rare type of shape-shifter. My appearance is based on my mood. When I'm happy I look more or less like this, when I'm angry I look like a Goth, as you've just seen, when I'm sad I look like a wounded little girl, etc..."  
  
"If you think that little outburst was bad, try living with her. There are some up sides though," he grinned and looked lost in memories for a moment. But then he shook his head as if shaking off water and continued, "When we're shagging she-"he was cut off by a slightly red-eyed Clarise and a groan from his thirteen-year-old son, Michael.  
  
"Eugh, Dad!! I did not need to hear that!! Now I have this bloody repulsive mental image of you two shagging that I really didn't need!!"  
  
"Michael! Watch your language!" Clarise's eyes were red again.  
  
"See, Ron. He's not even yours and you're influencing him to use foul language."  
  
"Don't blame it on Uncle Ron, Aunt Hermione. I didn't get it from him. I got it from hanging around with Uncles Bill, Fred, and Geor-"a hand was suddenly clapped over Michael's mouth and he could be seen being dragged into the hallway by Fred, George, and Bill, closely followed by Angelina, Katie, and Fleur, who was looking like she would sprout wings and a beak any minute and start throwing balls of fire.  
  
As a flame-ball appeared in Fleur's hand, the oh-so-loved choir popped up on the stage and sung:  
  
Goodness!  
  
Gracious!  
  
Great Balls of Fire!!  
  
And popped away as soon as they had popped in.  
  
"Bloody author's vision," Ron muttered as he turned and wrapped his arms around Hermione's waist. he murmured in her ear, "But, you know, if we wanted to, Fleur isn't the only one who can have balls of fire..." he trailed off hopefully.  
  
"Ron, not here. Today is for Ginny and Harry. We can play when we get home." At Ron's disappointed look she added, "Maybe we can get the go-ahead to leave a few minutes early?" Ron looked a little happier after she said this, but he never had been one of the patient. "Would you settle for a quick snog in a corner?" Ron brightened considerably at this. "But it would have to be very quick. They're going to be doing the bouquet and garter soon."  
  
"You know I wanna snog in a corner, and I know we have to be quick. So, to quote a band director from a muggle school I visited with Dad once, 'Hop to it, let's do it.' But when he said it, it sounded really wrong seeing as he said that to two girls who obviously didn't want to be there." And he picked her up as if she weighed nothing more than a rag doll and carried her out into the hallway, so as to not take too much attention from the newly married couple.  
  
When they arrived in the hallway, the saw Bill, Fred, and George fending off Fleur, Angelina, and Katie. Fleur was screeching at Bill in French, but judging by the look of panic on his face, he obviously knew what she was saying. Angelina and Katie were speaking very fast, but Fred and George caught every word. It was a bit funny actually, seeing Fred cower under a pregnant Angelina. Katie, who was not pregnant, looked as if she was telling George that he would get no kisses or shows of affection for a while, and that he had better not even think of the alternative. Michael was looking torn between laughing his arse off and running away in fear, so he settled for backing away from the scene, past Ron and Hermione, and back into the main room, all the while laughing like a maniac.  
  
Ron felt, more than heard, Hermione giggle.  
  
"I told the girls about your punishment after we were found at Fred's pool. They all agreed that it was a good punishment, but they all denied ever having to use it in the future. Oh how I can rub it in their faces now..." Hermione got an evil-looking smirk on her face.  
  
"Don't smirk, 'Mione. It reminds me of Malfoy. And I really don't wanna be thinking of him right now."  
  
"Of course. I'm done smirking now, I just had to get that out."  
  
"Stop talking." And with that, he covered her mouth with his and much snogging followed.  
  
Back inside the main room, the guests had stood stupidly for a moment, and then burst out laughing. It wasn't every day one got to see Fred and George Weasley cower under the gaze of a ten-foot tall shape shifter.  
  
Ron and Hermione came back in about ten minutes later, both looking a bit more dishevelled than they had before, though no one noticed. Or if they did, they chose to keep it to themselves.  
  
Ron, Harry, Seamus, and Dean disappeared for a few minutes, but when they came back no one was expecting what they saw.  
  
All four of them were dressed like Muggle-American punk rockers. They were wearing black ripped shirts with sayings such as "I see dumb people" "You say 'PSYCHO' like it's a bad thing..." "I think, therefore I have a headache" and "Hooked on Fonix dun good four mee." printed on them. Their black jeans were all too large for the thin frames of the men who were wearing them, with large pockets, chains, and the top waistband of their boxers poking out the top. Their arms and necks were bedecked in spiked bands and safety pin chains, and their hair had been gelled and spiked.  
  
They all walked over to the stage, which had been cleared of the DJ equipment, and replaced with three guitars, a drum set, and four microphones.  
  
Harry walked up to the mic positioned in the centre on the stage and cleared his throat to get the crowd's attention. When everyone, including the six who had been out in the hall getting yelled at and doing the yelling, was looking at him, he said,  
  
"Er, hullo. This is sorta a combined gift from the four of us to Ginny. Gin was saying a while ago that it would be funny if we got up and sang at the wedding. I thought about it and I figured "Eh, why not?" So, here we are. I picked two songs for today, the first one because I think that it's ironic that it reflects my situation so well.  
  
"Well, you got your wish, Gin. Tell us if we completely suck at this, or if we only mildly suck, cuz we all know that none of us can sing that well. Here goes nothing." With that, he picked up his guitar, cast a worried glance at the other guys, and the band started.  
  
Always see it on TV,  
  
Or read it in the magazines,  
  
Celebrities who want  
  
sympathy,  
  
All they do is piss and moan,  
  
Inside the Rolling Stone,  
  
Talkin' about,  
  
How hard life can be,  
  
I'd like to see them  
  
spend a week,  
  
Living life out on  
  
the streets,  
  
I don't think they would  
  
survive,  
  
If they could spend a  
  
day or two,  
  
Walking in someone  
  
else's shoes,  
  
I think they'd stumble and  
  
they'd fall,  
  
They would fall,  
  
Life styles  
  
of the rich and the famous,  
  
They're always complaining,  
  
always complaining,  
  
If money is such a problem,  
  
Well they got mansions,  
  
Think we should rob them,  
  
Did you know  
  
if you were famous  
  
you could kill your wife,  
  
And there's no such thing  
  
as 25 to life,  
  
As long as you got the cash  
  
to pay for Cochran,  
  
and did you know  
  
if you were caught,  
  
And you were smoking crack,  
  
McDonalds wouldn't even  
  
wanna take you back,  
  
You could always just run  
  
for mayor of D.C.  
  
I'd like to see them  
  
spend a week,  
  
Living life out on  
  
the streets,  
  
I don't think they would  
  
survive,  
  
If they could spend a  
  
day or two,  
  
Walking in someone  
  
else's shoes,  
  
I think they'd stumble and  
  
they'd fall,  
  
They would fall,  
  
Lifestyles  
  
of the rich and the famous,  
  
They're always complain',  
  
always complaining,  
  
If money is such a problem,  
  
Well they got mansions,  
  
Think we should rob them,  
  
Lifestyles  
  
of the rich and the famous,  
  
We'll take clothes, cash, cars, and homes,  
  
Just stop complaining,  
  
Life styles of the rich and famous,  
  
Life styles of the rich and famous,  
  
Life styles of the rich and famous  
  
"For the record, I would never even think of killing Gin, so can you back off a bit please?" The rest of the Weasleys had been inching towards Harry, but stopped as he clarified that those were just the words to the song, and that he didn't want to kill Ginny. "I think this next song because I think it applies to Gin, and because it applies to the entire family that I just married into, despite the gender references."  
  
"I also think that it applies to 'Mione," Ron added in as he adjusted his guitar a bit. And then they started the second and final song they were going to perform.  
  
She's got tattoos  
  
and piercings  
  
She like Minor Threat,  
  
she likes Social Distortion My girl's  
  
a hot girl  
  
A hood rat  
  
who needs an attitude adjustment  
  
Christina  
  
wouldn't wanna meet her  
  
She hates you Britney  
  
so you better run for cover  
  
My girl's  
  
a hot girl  
  
A riot girl  
  
and she's angry at the world  
  
Emergency call 911,  
  
She's pissed off at everyone  
  
Police, Rescue, FBI  
  
she wants a riot,  
  
she wants a riot  
  
And everywhere we go  
  
she gets us thrown out constantly  
  
But that's OK  
  
'cause I know, I know I know  
  
my baby would do anything for me, yeah  
  
Christina  
  
wouldn't wanna meet her  
  
She hates you Britney  
  
so you better run for cover  
  
My girl's  
  
a hot girl  
  
A riot girl  
  
and she's takin' on the world  
  
Emergency call 911,  
  
She's pissed off at everyone  
  
Police, Rescue, FBI  
  
She wants a riot, she wants a riot  
  
She wants a riot, she wants a riot  
  
Don't you know that  
  
all I really want is you?  
  
Gotta know that  
  
all I really want is you!  
  
Emergency call 911,  
  
She's pissed off at everyone  
  
Police, Rescue, FBI  
  
She wants a riot, she wants a riot  
  
Emergency call 911,  
  
she wants a riot, she wants a riot  
  
Police, rescue, FBI  
  
she wants a riot, she wants a riot  
  
As the final cord faded out, the crowd burst into applause, and Ginny and Hermione came up onto the stage.  
  
"Oh, Harry, that was wonderful! I'm surprised you even remembered that!" Ginny said into Harry's chest.  
  
"Ron! I don't want everyone knowing about that! I wasn't thinking properly when I got that, and you don't need to go announcing to everyone about it!" scolded Hermione in and undertone.  
  
"Oh," said Ron, setting down his guitar. "So you mean that you don't want everyone to know that you actually are capable of getting wasted and going out to get a tattoo on your b—"Ron was cut off by Hermione's mouth over his, and they began another snog session until Dean prodded them with one of his drumsticks to get them to stop.  
  
"Sorry," Ron said wiping his mouth on his wrist. "Hold on. No I'm not. Get back here," and he made a grab for Hermione, who was getting down from the stage, but missed and ended up chasing her out into the hall, where they resumed with their previous activity.  
  
"Well, that's my brother for you," commented Ginny, who still had her arms wrapped around Harry's waist.  
  
"Yeah," Harry replied, but then leaned down to her and whispered in her ear, "Though you're not exactly one to talk, now are you, Rapid?"  
  
"Stal, there's a microphone right in front of us!" Ginny swatted at his arm.  
  
"Oh, don't worry. We don't mind!" shouted Fred from the back of the room. "It just gives us more material for later pranking."  
  
"Angie? Would you mind...?" Ginny asked of Angelina.  
  
"Not at all Gin. HENTAI!" and she smacked Fred on the side of the head, sending him sideways into George.  
  
"Hey! I thought I was supposed to be the Beater!? You're the Chaser! and why did you just call me a hentai?! I'm not that monk on the TV! "  
  
"Well too bad! I'm a pregnant woman and I can be and say whatever I damn- well please!"  
  
When Ron and Hermione came back into the room, the boys who had performed in the band were back in their tuxedos, and so was Ron, coincidently. Ginny was getting ready to throw the bouquet, but because there were so few single women, she had all of the women come out and the bouquet would have two meanings. If a single woman caught it, it would mean that she would be the next to get married, as usual. If a married woman caught it, she would be the next to shag with her husband. As it would happen, Hermione caught the bouquet, and as she glanced at Ron, she started to giggle a little more. There was a small murmur of "Typical" and "of course" throughout the room.  
  
When Harry was taking off the garter, the same rules applied as with the bouquet. While Harry's head was still submerged in Ginny's dress, Ron started to chant,  
  
"One...of...us. One...of...us." Then Fred and George joined in.  
  
"One of...us. One of...us." Soon all of the Weasley men were chanting, getting faster and louder all the while.  
  
"One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. Oneofus. Oneofus. Oneofus. Oneofus. Oneofus.Oneofus.Oneofus..." They had all started stomping their feet and waving their fists in the air in rhythm to their chanting. The Weasley women were laughing too hard to tell the boys off.  
  
When Harry came out from under Ginny's dress, Ginny was shaking from trying not to laugh, and Harry's face was as red as any of the Weasley's hair. But he stood up and shot the garter into the crowd regardless of the chanting Weasleys. Kenny, Bill's sixteen-year-old son, caught the garter and looked over at his girlfriend of two years, Sarah.  
  
Kenny raised one hand, tilted his head to one side, and mouthed "now?" Then, he raised his other hand, tilted his head to the other side, and mouthed "later?"  
  
In response, Sarah grinned and tilted her head towards the hallway. She got up and walked out, with Kenny on her heels.  
  
Kenny and Sarah came back in just as Sirius was just about to play the final song. Harry and Ginny called everyone onto the floor and made one final announcement.  
  
"We would just like to thank everyone for coming today," said Harry. "It really meant a lot to us. But we would especially like to thank Fred, George, Bill, Charlie, Clarise, Katie, Angelina, Fleur, Sirius, and Michael, for providing entertainment, and Seamus and Dean for getting up with the band. Also Ron and Hermione, for being my Best Man, and Ginny's Maid of Honour, for getting up with the band, and for showing us something: Even if we may bicker a lot, we'll always end up together in the end. Also, that bickering can lead to some very fun activities, if you time the moment right."  
  
"Now, let's get to this last song," said Ginny. "I don't know about you people, but I'm knackered. So lets get this song over with so we can all go home. There's still something me and Harry have to do before we can fall asleep, and if we're here too much longer, we'll both be too tired to perform properly. So, hit it, Sirius!"  
  
On Ginny's cue, Sirius started the song and went to join his wife, Julia. Everyone was glad for the medium-tempo song, seeing as they were all as knackered as Ginny.  
  
Suntanned toes ticklin the sand  
  
cold drink chillin in my right hand  
  
watchin you sleep in the evenin light  
  
restin up for a long, long night  
  
cuz when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be groovin  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be feelin alright  
  
when the sun sinks down  
  
over the water  
  
everything gets hotter  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
Yeah  
  
all day long just takin it easy  
  
layin in a hammock where it's  
  
nice and breezy  
  
and sleepin off the night before  
  
cuz when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be back for more  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be groovin  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be feelin alright when the sun sinks down  
  
over the water  
  
everything gets hotter  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
this old guitar  
  
and my dark sunglasses  
  
this sweet concoction is  
  
smooth as molasses  
  
nothing to do  
  
but breathe all day  
  
until the big moon rises  
  
and it's time to play  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be groovin  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be feelin alright  
  
when the sun sinks down  
  
over the water  
  
everything gets hotter  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
when the sun goes down when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be groovin  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be feelin alright  
  
when the sun sinks down  
  
over the water  
  
everything gets hotter  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
Yeah  
  
When the sun goes down  
  
we'll be groovin  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be feelin alright  
  
when the sun sinks down  
  
over the water  
  
everything gets hotter  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be groovin  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be feelin alright  
  
when the sun sinks down  
  
over the water  
  
she thinks Kracker's sexy  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be feelin alright  
  
when the sun sinks down  
  
over the water  
  
Uncle Kenny's hotter  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
we'll be groovin  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
hey Uncle Kenny  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
over the water  
  
everything is hotter  
  
when the sun goes down  
  
("When the sun goes down" by Kenney Chesney and Uncle Cracker)  
  
The song ended, and everyone gave Gin and Harry one last "Congratulations" as they left.  
  
"Now," Hermione said, as she walked into her and Ron's room, having just put Gabe in his crib. "I believe I promised you something when we were at the reception?"  
  
"Yes, I believe you did. So get over here, Miss Behaving."  
  
Ron and Hermione shagged like there was no tomorrow, though they were careful not to be too loud so as to not wake Gabe.  
  
A few blocks down, at Gin and Harry's flat, Stallion and Rapid-Fire were doing the same, though without the factor of a sleeping baby across the hall that they had to mind....  
  
However, they had forgotten the factor of neighbours, and in every flat expect theirs, the lights were coming on one-by-one. It didn't take a genius to figure out who was making all the noise. All you had to do was stick your head out of the window and see which set of lights were not on, or, which flat didn't have people hanging out of the window, trying to see what the noise was.  
  
A/N: I felt like having some kinky moments in this chapter, seeing as it was the night of the wedding. If you now have "this bloody repulsive mental image" in your head that you didn't need, sorry. I couldn't resist putting some situations in there, it's in my nature of being a teenager. I would have been wrong if I didn't put them in there. here's the songs from the medley: 1-naked - avril lanivge  
  
2-hot in here - nelly  
  
3-superman(?) - eminem  
  
4-follow me - uncle cracker  
  
5-heaven - unknown band songs: 'Lifestyles of the rich and famous' and 'riot girl' by Good Charlotte i know that i've had a lot of songs in here. the weird thing is - i don't even like half of these people anymore. i despise hip-hop music, except a few select songs, and avril lavinge get on my nerves. however, i do like music like GC, SimplePlan, Linkin Park, yellowcard, and so on as well as up- beat country music ::cough::whatwasIthinking::cough::wiskeygirl::cough::cough:: Review please.Questions go to  
  
tootiedur (at sigh [shift key and 2[)aol.com  
  
with "five year mark questions" in the subject bar.  
  
Thanks  
  
I'm off like Hermione's clothes in Ron's ...hand,  
  
-Cannonballboy


End file.
